Kinky or Not?

I’m trying to figure out how to write the webpage that explains where katie and I sit in the spectrum from Kinky to Vanilla.  There are several relevant factors that I need to address.

To start with, we are clearly not pure vanilla.  We attend fetish events.  We have a Power Exchange relationship.  We’ve had non-monogamous sex with people.  We invite all kinds of perverts to have dinner at our home.  A few (hundred) people have even seen katie’s breasts.

But we aren’t “Scary Kinky” either.  We wander around kink events and look sort of like the vanilla couple that made a wrong turn on the way to the opera.  We don’t enjoy flaunting our kink, or playing “shock the vanillas.”  We are discreet, and casual.  Stealth kinksters, if you will.

Do we sometimes use intense sensation as part of erotic experiences?  Yes.  But neither of us is very sadistic or masochistic at all.  Am I technically competent in various forms of intense sensation?  Not professional, but not inept.  I could probably teach some BDSM 101 skills classes if I had any interest.

This “defining where we sit” only matters just a little.  We expect to have more and more opportunities to present to vanilla audiences, and we don’t want to be unclear about what they can expect.  When a university dean or producer for a vanilla event considers booking us, they need to know what our authentic life looks like, and whether that will suit their audience.  They almost certainly don’t want to have us speak if the entire audience would find us offensive.

We believe we are a nice bridge between the worlds of vanilla and kink.  We think we have useful things to say to individuals living anywhere in that spectrum.  And I need to find the right ways to say all those things.

The request to blog

We were teaching a class recently at Beat My Valentine, and one of the folks in the audience asked if we were keeping a blog.  I said that we had one available, but that I was somewhat reluctant to make use of it, as I want to carefully safeguard all my best ideas to put them in books.

The more I think about it, the more I suspect that request had some wisdom in it.  Doing (somewhat) regular blogging will allow me to process some of the interesting events and incidents in our lives.  Over time, these writings will help me recognize patterns and solidify my thoughts about the things I encounter.

Did I see a cool Power Exchange couple at an event?  Did I hear their story and want to further dissect some kernel of fascinating deliciousness I stumbled upon?  Did katie and I have a valuable conversation while making soup?  All those things can go here and won’t compromise my book plans.  In theory, those things should continue to take root and grow into more book chapters!

Related to that – I think I’ll provide access to katie and get her to blog too.  She is zany and wise.  It is an unsettling combination, but most folks seem to enjoy it.

IPE Prep

We are working on our preparations for the April International Power Exchange competition.  Even though it is 2 months away, there is a lot to get done and all of a sudden it will be upon us!

  • We need to begin gathering lootz for our auction basket.  The sales of the baskets from all the competitors becomes the travel fund for the winners.
  • Our Fantasy Scene and music need to be shortened.  The time allowed has been dropped from ten minutes to six minutes – so we will have to adjust.
  • We keep getting offers to help us prep: chances to do our 10 minute speech, or take pop questions from a test audience.  While we always try to be maximally prepared, and want to do a professional job, we don’t want to prep so much that everything seems rehearsed and artificial.  We still need to be authentically “us.”

Raven, Space, BMV and onward

The last few weeks have been pretty hectic:

  • We attended the AIS event Winter Wickedness in Columbus Ohio.  Amazing as always.
  • Raven Kaldera and Joshua Tenpenny spent nearly a week in our home right after that.  We had such a great time hosting them.  Amazing conversations!  They brought a couple of classes and a couple’s intensive to The Columbus Space.
  • We presented two classes at Beat My Valentine in Indianapolis.  Our Executive Power Exchange class seemed to really resonate with a lot of folks.  We premiered our class on non-monogamy, and the feedback we’ve received says it also was a success!

So now we are doing a little bit of administration and taking care of priorities before we are off to Louisville for Bluegrass Leather Pride in a couple of weeks.  Some more website content too!