Garden Variety Power Exchange

Power Exchange happens every day, in all the things we do.  It is so easy to get distracted, or complacent regarding all the ways that PE is part of our 24/7 existence.

It isn’t about her prancing around in slave bells and grovelling at my feet all day.  It is super hard to get shit done that way.

We were out gardening yesterday.  I know, I know!  When you picture the interactions of regional Power Exchange title holders, you probably don’t imagine two sweaty folks looking at each other over top of a rose bush gone to hell, saying “Do you have the pruners?  I was pretty sure you had them last.”  She didn’t have in a ballgag or buttplug.  I wasn’t carrying a bullwhip.

I stopped and noticed a particular PE moment, since I’m trying to cultivate a fresh awareness of all the subtle PE things we now do naturally.  We feel like we are just doing our lives, and others see us as embodying Power Exchange…so we need to pay more attention to our process, so we can share it clearly and openly.

katie is the gardening expert.  I have to consult with her about what to do and how to do things.  I end up asking her “Is this how you would like that trimmed?” or “Would you like me to tie up those Gladiolus?”  To an outsider I am her assistant.  She is in charge of the garden, and I follow.

But from inside our relationship, there is a subtle difference.  I am in charge, and we both know it.  I could ask her to rip out all the plants and plant a thousand Lantana (because I like it) and she would do so.  I could go inside and watch Netflix, and she would continue to serve me by making the garden beautiful.

There was a moment when I was asking katie about what job needed done next, or some other fiddly detail, and she said to me “Tell me what you are trying to accomplish, and I’ll help make that happen.”  That, right there, is the essence of our Power Exchange.  Even when she has superior expertise, it is applied in service.


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